Belly Laughing

Filed Under (Joy) by Estee on 08-02-2012

I had electricans in my house today as I finish fixing my kitchen. While they were doing their work I was fooling around on Facebook. There’s a new map application that let’s us mark where we are visiting. Seeing as how I made my first visit to the east recently, I wanted to gain some satisfaction by looking at my jaunts like red pins on paper. The blank white spaces in Africa and Russia reminded me how much more there is to see and learn. The white spaces felt like hope and possibility. As the last outlet was installed, I sighed at the continents.

If I get those calendars that list the countries and their codes, I have to put a check mark where I’ve been. With this new Facebook app, I was writing down all the places I’ve visited and lived until I received a message. “Wow you travel fast,” it said. “Are you Santa Claus?” I clicked back to my “wall.” I realized that the app posted every place I’ve visited as someplace I was currently in. “Estee Klar is in South Carolina. Estee Klar is in Freiburg.” The list was long and I realized that all my friends were receiving these endless messages on the “home” page. It appeared that I had traveled from Alaska to Sri Lanka in one day. How embarrassing, but it’s such a me thing to do.

I’ve made a vow to myself not take these minor stories for granted. So tonight, I was telling it to my boyfriend. Adam was sitting in between us before his bed time. I was laughing so hard at my own “joke” that I couldn’t even tell the story to him clearly. Adam thought this was hilarious.

“Laugh!” he exclaimed as I managed to get out the first two words. “Laugh. Laugh!” he said giggling at me, leaning his whole body in my lap. He looked into my eyes and laughed harder and we fueled each other until I was breathless. This was a good moment for him. He’s at that age when he makes himself laugh endlessly just so he can keep on feeling good. I remember when I did the same thing.

After the fact, I have to wonder how many times Adam gets to see his mother come undone in such a happy way. It’s nice to be okay with my “mistakes” and laughing at myself for it, even if I need some Facebook lessons. It’s even better when Adam laughs with me.


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About Me


I’m a PhD candidate at York University, Critical Disability Studies, with a multi-disciplinary background in the arts as a curator and writer. I am the Founder of The Autism Acceptance Project (, and an enamoured mother of my only son who lives with the autism label. I like to write about our journey, critical issues regarding autism in the area of human rights, law, and social justice, as well as reflexive practices in (auto)ethnographic writing about autism.