Estée KlarThe Joy of Autism

And you made me cry. Again. Happy Mother’s Day from the other side of the world you amazing woman.

Is Mother’s Day an international holiday? Hm.

This morning (Monday), Willy looked up at me over the breakfast table and his eyes got big. “Oh, no!” he exclaimed in the voice of tragedy only little children with an inclination for dramatization can produce.

“What’s wrong, Willy.”

“Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I forgot! I”m sorry, Mommy!”

“Oh, Willy. That’s okay. You gave me my Mother’s Day present early. Do you remember?”

“I did?”

“Yes. You gave me a cup and a frog. You made them yourself. Remember?”

“I did. I gave you a cup and a frog. And my love?” (At this point, he was too genuinely distraught to speak as clearly as he usually does.)

“Oh, but, Willy. You give me your love every day. Don’t you?”

He nods. “I do,” he says, and sighs. “But…”

“Well, Willy, that’s way better than just getting special love on Mother’s Day. You’re a very loving son and you show it every day. I like that best.”

“Really?”

Mother’s Day is a holiday. And mothers do deserve a special day. But, when they’re little, every day is special.

Stephanie, Thank you for sharing that wonderful little story. As a single mother now, it is especially important for me to dig deep. Used to be Adam’s dad would do the stuff on behalf of Adam — you know, like MAKE him make a card. I suppose all parents even of typical kids have to remind children.

As life hasn’t been easy, I am learning to dig deep every day. One thing is for certain, when I look at Adam every night before bed, every day, I am certain that I know love and that Adam loves me, even if it has forsaken me in other domains for now.

Every morning, I teach Adam how to dance. It has become our new before-school ritual. You should see us — he knows how to dance like a real gentleman. I tell him, if he’s going to have girlfriend someday, he’s got to know how to dance!

It’s my mother’s gift to him — and okay, to me too.

Oh yes, and the other thing I wanted to say about Sophie’s speech to her mom — as how kind she thought her mother was and how she forgave Sophie for her “mistakes.” In that vein, I’d like to remind us all that our autistic children might be treated with the same love and grace.

If it’s any consolation, my husband didn’t do anything for Mother’s Day. The presents the boys gave me were things they did in therapy or school. I did get flowers from my brother, though.

If it’s important to you, you can have someone else in your support network coach Adam through showing his appreciation during holidays. The giving of gifts and cards to mark special occassions, or occassions we have (culturally speaking) set aside as being special is learned. It would not be selfish or inappropriate to ask someone to help you teach this to your son.

Oh I hope I didn’t sound pathetic! For sure Adam will get such support. But I meant what I said in my post, and I think you understood that. Believe me, I’ve had lots of love cards in my past. They certainly didn’t stand the test of time. Adam, however, does. His love speaks volumes…and it needs no card.

Love is about every day. It’s not just from the words.

No, you didn’t sound at all pathetic! I was just trying to say that the effort your former husband made does not need to stop, just because he’s not there to do it.

Adam’s love is unquestionable!!!

No worries!! I understood what you meant.

Dear All, Happy Happy Mother’s Day to All!!! What a great, touching and heartwarming video…thank you for sharing!!!
I have another Mother’s Day video that i would love to share with all of you too! Please visit:

http://www.coacheonautism.com/miracle-moments-with-miracle-moms/

to view our Mother’s Day video…In Joy, Elaine Hall
PS please let me know what you think…I would love to hear :)