Estée KlarThe Joy of Autism

Hi Jennifer,

It’s still a work in progress. Adam is eight. We are giving him the tools, still, for him to self-regulate. Going to the library or the book corner has been one way in school and now he will naturally gravitate to his books and read quietly and seek that comfort. I created those cacooned spots for him when he was seeking tiny dark spaces. I put a “steam-roller” (go to Southpaw Enterprises) for him to use now on his own when he is seeking deep pressure. Soon, we will be using the Incredible 5 Point Scale, but he has, up to this point, not been ready for that. We also use social stories.

Adam does yoga once a week as well. Art and creative movement make him happy as does very soothing new-age music. I use that especially at night as a signal to wind-down and he goes to sleep to it. His room has a variety of soothing lights (i find them at Ikea and the like) to wind him down.

Fantasia and soft videos without a lot of talking (visual and with music is what I mean by soft) can work when he is upset.

Visual clocks, schedules and countdowns (10-1) work wonders to transition him. At this point, the countdown works the best. I also give him warnings. But when Adam was four, it wasn’t as easy.

If your son is highly anxious, you might want to discuss with your GP the miniscule dose of Zoloft that may assist.

As I said, it’s a work in progress. I’ve taken Adam’s lead to find the things that have helped him and with his OT and aide we are working on the self-regulation piece as he begins to grow older now.

Can you give me an idea of what calms your little guy down in general? Surely there must be something that you’ve noticed that we can discuss and maybe structure a little better so you can use it.

I hope this helps. I am only speaking of course from our own experiences.

Very nice article, Estee. You never cease to amaze me with your advocacy on behalf of our children.

Jennifer, I’d pretty much like to second everything that Estee wrote. I’ve got 14 year old autistic triplets, and the main thing that I would stress is that every child is different, and every child will learn things in their own time, which isn’t necessarily ‘our’ time.

My kids have a lot of sensory issues- if you can, I’d really recommend seeing an OT who is qualified in sensory issues. Aside from speech therapy and the use of picture symbols, figuring out sensory issues has been by far the most useful thing that we’ve found to help the kids be comfortable, and almost everything else (developmentally speaking) flows from that. My kids need regular sensory breaks, and over the years they’ve learned to request those themselves. If you notice that your son gravitates towards something (quiet, bright lights, being squeezed, being active), I’d encourage you to make those a part of his routine. A couple of my kids need regular sensory breaks (about 15 minutes long) if they’re doing 2 hours of ‘work’. I’d also recommend the Out of Sync books by Carol Stock Kranowitz (http://www.amazon.com/Carol-Stock-Kranowitz/e/B001H6PSSK/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_4?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1272129640&sr=1-4) …they have been invaluable to us.

Yoga is wonderful…my kids don’t like poses, but breathing techniques have been invaluable. Try the 3×5 method….breathe in for a count of 5, hold it for five, breathe out for five. It does help with anxiety, and tantrums once they know it.

It’s always a learning experience for us as parents, and some children have greater or lesser success with self-regulation. Keeping a daily diary can help a lot, as it will enable you to track behaviours, calming techniques, and stimulants. If you notice that after half an hour of intensive time he wants to go and sit quietly, or he needs to run around or wrestle, that gives you a clue as to how to work with him to give him what he needs while still challenging him. It might not be the answer for everyone (all of our children are different), but that has helped me considerably.

And just so you know, as parents of autistic children, we all have different ideas about the best way to help them. Read what you hear in a critical fashion, take what works for your family, and discard the rest. What works for our family may not work for yours.

My best wishes to you and your son,

Jen

Thank-you everyone for your helpful advice. He is going to be seen by an OT next month. I have been paying closer attention to the things he does when he is quiet. Like going in his room and rolling his trains along the ledge in his bedroom. I decided that when he starts doing that. That we should leave him alone for a while. Also when he gets upset we lay him on his bed, when he starts throwing his toys we take them out of his room.. I’m hoping that eventually he will learn to calm himself in his room. We just started doing all of this so I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Thank-you again. Jennifer