Third Time’s A Charm
Filed Under (Acceptance, Adam, Communication, Single Parenthood, To Get To The Other Side) by Estee on 18-02-2010
I’m not talking about relationships. I’m talking about Adam’s third night at his new home. After letting him explore, be tense, be happy and then settle, he spent his third night in his own bed.
The past two days when I’ve picked Adam up from school he has been running into my arms with a huge grin on his face. I have to admit that his hugs and grins are like Valium — the moment he does that my entire body relaxes. As his mother, I am happy when Adam is happy. Adam is happy when I am happy.
One thing is for sure as I watched his face searching mine this morning and on his way out the door to school is that for Adam, I am home. This is home because I am here. For all the worrying I’ve been doing, it dawns that I am the most important person in Adam’s life. I am the most constant, the most present, although, of course he has many people who also love and support him.
Below is a little snapshot of Adam when he came home from school as I let him relax. It doesn’t show the exuberance that came afterward — and the searching for mommy in order that he could snuggle in the crook of my arm for me to read him his favorite books (Little Ms. Shy and Mr. Quiet, no less). As I watch what Adam does and how he does it; as I pay attention to the books he brings me, he is telling me a whole lot. I say this as I am also skeptically reading about a cuddle drug for autism (Adam is the best cuddler and most affectionate child). It can be frustrating when I am worried about Adam and he cannot communicate everything that’s on his mind. Considering all the issues with autism and communication, it is those moments when I step back and pay attention that I can really appreciate Adam and the many things he has to say. Thank goodness for autistic behaviours for they are telling me so much! Adam is telling me how much he needs me and my support. He is telling me how much he loves me!
We are home.
Here’s the little after-school video:
ESTÉE KLAR
TORONTO, ONTARIO, CANADA
Writer.Curator of Art. Founder of The Autism Acceptance Project. Mother of Adam. I like to write about our journey, musings, attitudes towards autism.
This is such a beautiful article…..you and Adam share such a beautiful bond….and, yes, you are BOTH home!!
I can’t open the video, but I can just imagine, from the picture paint with your words, just how sweet it is. I have a “cuddler” too. It’s the best.
He is soooo excited to be home….I get this too since currently my son does not want to go to school and is having quite a few issues at school We are having an IEP for change of placement next week. I too have a cuddler and also he loves just being near me. I think I am his “security blanket” and by having me in arm’s reach helps him to relax and be himself.
Home is where the heart is and safety in knowing that me so much for our children.
Sarah,
I think of you going through that IEP. I know that is not an easy process. Sending you my warm thoughts!
Although I could not open the video, I can picture the happiness of knowing Mom is there!