The Final Countdown

Filed Under (To Get To The Other Side, autism) by Estee on 09-02-2010

It’s the final countdown. Adam and I will move in several days. I’ve written a lot about it. Tomorrow Adam sees the neurologist. Last Saturday Temple Grandin’s story was aired on HBO. It all reminds me of Adam’s anxiety and how I found him two nights ago in his underwear drawer (closed) in a fetal position at 5:30 in the morning. The change is very big for such a little guy.

It manifests in his senses. I think his body jerks and desire to be in tight dark places have a lot to do with change and his parent’s separation. I certainly believe my little boy is telling me how he feels without words.

I really believe it. It’s why it makes me a bit frustrated that people think that autistic behaviour is “abnormal.” What’s the difference between a neurotypuical child who tantrums versus an autistic child who can’t tell me that he’s confused but seeks a drawer to find security?

Without words, Adam speaks volumes.

All I can say is that I look forward to putting some security/regularity back into Adam’s life (and mine). By next week I shall be posting from our new home.

Please wish us luck.

Of course I heard this song on the radio today transporting stuff from one house to another in my car:

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About Me


ESTÉE KLAR TORONTO, ONTARIO, CANADA Writer/Curator/Founder of The Autism Acceptance Project. Contributing Author to Between Interruptions: Thirty Women Tell the Truth About Motherhood, and Concepts of Normality by Wendy Lawson. Lecturer on autism and the media and parenting. Current graduate student Critical Disability Studies and most importantly, mother of Adam -- a new and emerging writer.