Comments on: He must go out into the world…. http://www.esteeklar.com/2010/01/28/2786/ The Joy of Autism is about our journey with autism and our opinions about how society views it. Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:33:32 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: DJ http://www.esteeklar.com/2010/01/28/2786/comment-page-1/#comment-7763 DJ Thu, 28 Jan 2010 20:46:32 +0000 http://www.esteeklar.com/?p=2786#comment-7763 That must be one the hardest things for parents to do: let their children go out into the world and experience and learn for themselves. With parents planning play-dates, buying GPS systems for their kids and watching them on daycare webcams, I really wonder what the next generation of kids is going to be like. Will they be able to meet someone and actually arrange the meeting themselves? Will they be able to forge relationships with friends on their own? Will they know about consequences and how to shoulder the responsibility for their own actions: mistakes and victories alike? Will they know how to watch out for danger because their parents can't be around them or watching them 24/7? Will they be able to cook a meal on their own or solve problems on their own? My parents didn't have much of a choice back in the early 80's since they both had to work long hours to keep things paid for. I became one of those latch-key kids and it was the best thing that ever happened to me! I'm glad for the opportunity to have time to myself for most of the day and evening because I learned how to cook my own meals from the time I was 8 and I began to enjoy being able to do things without people constantly hovering over me because it let met me do things for myself and let me get to know the world. I was never without the love of my parents... but I was not crushed by it either. The first step to independence is becoming... well... independent. That only happens when kids, even ones with disabilities, are allowed to become their own people on their own, which includes being allowed to make mistakes and learn from them and being allowed to do things for themselves. Of course, they may not be able to do everything on their own (who can?), but at least they will be able to set their own limits instead of having them set for them. It's very empowering and very vital in my opinion! Letting go doesn't make one less of a parent... it makes one a very good parent who recognizes their child's potential for becoming an adult with self-confidence and the knowledge that he or she can do things for him or herself. Keep up the great work, Estee! You truly are the best thing to happen to Adam! That must be one the hardest things for parents to do: let their children go out into the world and experience and learn for themselves. With parents planning play-dates, buying GPS systems for their kids and watching them on daycare webcams, I really wonder what the next generation of kids is going to be like. Will they be able to meet someone and actually arrange the meeting themselves? Will they be able to forge relationships with friends on their own? Will they know about consequences and how to shoulder the responsibility for their own actions: mistakes and victories alike? Will they know how to watch out for danger because their parents can’t be around them or watching them 24/7? Will they be able to cook a meal on their own or solve problems on their own?

My parents didn’t have much of a choice back in the early 80’s since they both had to work long hours to keep things paid for. I became one of those latch-key kids and it was the best thing that ever happened to me!

I’m glad for the opportunity to have time to myself for most of the day and evening because I learned how to cook my own meals from the time I was 8 and I began to enjoy being able to do things without people constantly hovering over me because it let met me do things for myself and let me get to know the world. I was never without the love of my parents… but I was not crushed by it either.

The first step to independence is becoming… well… independent. That only happens when kids, even ones with disabilities, are allowed to become their own people on their own, which includes being allowed to make mistakes and learn from them and being allowed to do things for themselves. Of course, they may not be able to do everything on their own (who can?), but at least they will be able to set their own limits instead of having them set for them. It’s very empowering and very vital in my opinion!

Letting go doesn’t make one less of a parent… it makes one a very good parent who recognizes their child’s potential for becoming an adult with self-confidence and the knowledge that he or she can do things for him or herself. Keep up the great work, Estee! You truly are the best thing to happen to Adam!

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