Comments on: The Benefits and Consequences of Telling True Stories

By: Madmother

Madmother — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 00:03:23 +0000

This is something, as a writer and the mother of a nearly 12 year old with Asperger Syndrome, I have pondered long and hard. How much is too much, and what will he think when he reads my work when he is older? I find both my children (only 1 on the spectrum) awe-inspiring, breathtaking, heart grabbing humans. The compassion for others they both display creates a constant burning pool of pride inside me. I would never wish to hurt, insult or demean them in any way and so I try to balance what I write. Take that step back and read from a distance, not always easy nor achievable, but we can only do our best. Thank you for this site, I stumbled upon it during a 3am sleepless worrying session.

By: Maddy

Maddy — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 03:56:25 +0000

Well ethics aren’t my strongest suit and I’ve certainly debated most of this internally. Bloggers seem to have strong views on each side of the debate, or rather, each issue, especially as they get older.

For me, primarily, it’s a bit like logging progress because all children grow and change, but those teeny tiny changes are so much more significant to parents like us.

Additionally, I do focus on the positive primarily because when I first started there seemed nothing except doom and gloom. Autistic children, just like all other children, can be very, very funny. Admittedly I have the bias of all parents about how funnily my own children are, but if everyone else can have a giggle about their children, then why can’t I?

Well that’s my two pennarth any rate. I detect a little bit too much self justification on my part :)
Best wishes

By: derekpm

derekpm — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 16:59:37 +0000

Rather interesting. Has few times re-read for this purpose to remember. Thanks for interesting article. Waiting for trackback

By: Helen

Helen — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 19:09:24 +0000

Yes, indeed a very thoughtful post. All of us have our own journey and we are surely absorbed in our own life processes. I don’t think anyone could answer such provocative questions about writing, but you challenge me to think more deeply. I think of the words sacrifice, selfishness, good to a fault, doing the right thing and then trying to find some balance.

By: Susan Olding

Susan Olding — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 16:48:26 +0000

Estee,

What a thoughtful post. These are serious questions and each of us must seek the answers, step by careful step. I, too, have found myself in this dilemma and I feel I’m still learning. I’ve written about this, too; there’s an essay in Pathologies called “Mama’s Voices” that is explicitly about the subject. I’ve also written about it on my blog. I’ll look forward to your coming explorations and thoughts.

Sincerely,
Susan

By: Estee Klar

Estee Klar — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:55:38 +0000

I can now say I’ve been around long enough to watch parents go through the same process I am now going through. I’ve seen some bloggers deliberate and stop blogging altogether. I’ve seen some parents refuse to show pictures of their children and others who let it all hang out there with a great sense of pride.

We all have our reasons and our methods.

By: Stephanie Lynn Keil

Stephanie Lynn Keil — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:24:54 +0000

I don’t know why I write/have a blog. But I think the reasons are somewhere along the same lines as this:

“Let’s face it: our lives are not like everyone else’s, which is why so many of us need to write. “Suffering has always animated life-writing,” says Arthur Frank who has written about his own illness. Indeed that familiar theme of finding peace, a spiritual awakening, an appreciation for life itself, is a kind-of triumph-over-struggle theme that appeals to most of us in a challenging world. I think of Audre Lorde and her cancer diaries and poems that I devoured after my two cancer surgeries last year. Her honesty and artistry helped me see myself as fully human even with my stage of dwindling self-image and pain.”